just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
