I like to think it a success when the cops are called
id be glad to
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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