rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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