Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
