I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
