My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
