I like to think it a success when the cops are called
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
