he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
