YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize