she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
