Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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