Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
