I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
