Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
