you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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