Need sex. Gaining weight.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
