If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
