So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
