i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
