so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
