the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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