Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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