I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
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