Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
