Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
