he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
