I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
