somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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