Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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