he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
COCAINE IS GR8
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
