At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
