Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
