HIV tests are more positive than that guy
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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