so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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