Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
