Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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