WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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