I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
