They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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