Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
