After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
