I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize