Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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