Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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