Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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