OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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