I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
