he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
