i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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