I cannot find my penis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize