Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
