So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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