I wish I could teleport
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
