margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
