he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
