ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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