I'm eating all of the evidence.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
