I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
