i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
