I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize