ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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