matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
