i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sext me about skeletons
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
